The Second Monday in September
Far and away the best part of fashion journalism is the notion that couturiers spend tens of thousands of hours designing and creating special one-of-a-kind pieces for events that are then ripped to shreds by a take-hungry economy that spends less than 10 seconds looking at an outfit before letting fly. An what could be more American than an unjustly held firm opinion? Perhaps we’re the only ones following the theme this year.
Kendall Jenner in Givenchy
A dress designed by Matthew Williams and worn by Kendall Jenner cancels out and ends up incredibly artfully done and tasteful. That’s PEMDAS, baby.
Kid Cudi in Louis Vuitton
Kid Cudi definitely showed his hair stylist a picture of Frank Ocean, but who among us hasn’t.
Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello in Michael Kors Collection
I know Shawn’s deodorant was fighting overtime in this jacket. It’s an iconic Shawn Mendes outfit though — honestly, who could top him? I’d certainly like to try.
Justin and Hailey Bieber in Saint Laurent
Ironically, it’s Justin Bieber — not Evan Mock — representing the uniquely American subgroup of unwashed Tompkins Square skater accompanying his conventionally gorgeous girlfriend to a formal event in pants that contain more fabric than the accompanying dress.
Pete Davidson in Thom Browne
I think Pete Davidson and Evan Mock had to fist fight for the right to be the man Thom Browne dressed in a skirt and Pete beat him so bad he wore a mask in shame. Dope fit by Pete though.
Ciara in Peter Dundas
The color and texture of this dress brings back memories of the cakes Publix would offer in the lead up to the Super Bowl XLIX and how their frosting was always weirdly lime green even though the Seahawks were wearing teal. Somewhere, Future is beginning his 25th Joker origin story in response to this dress.
Anok Yai in Oscar De La Renta
Anok Yai is the one student who did the homework when the rest of the class forgot to but is cool enough not to remind the teacher and everyone gets off the hook.
Ben Platt in Christian Cowen
This is a runway look, if your runway is the street outside Cafe Leon Door, and your model is Lil Dicky.
Grimes in Iris Van Herpen
Iris Van Herpen’s vision here is very clearly Lil Uzi Vert’s interpretation of Zelda and Sword Art Online, all of which are iconic American institutions.
Chance the Rapper and Kirsten Corley in Ralph Lauren
I’m not so surprised at Chance the Rapper bricking a fit so much so as I am that he got invited to this event in 2021.
Timothée Chalamet in Haider Ackermann
Timothée Chalamet looks like he directs an orchestra that performs classical music renditions of EDM covers of old school hip hop.
In terms of political dresses that grabbed the majority of attention, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez grabbed the majority of the attention. AOC claims to speak for the poor, but with this Saint Laurent dress, Anja Rubik looks like she speaks for the trees, for the trees have no tongues. And what’s a better political message than chopping down a Truffula tree for your outfit when half the people in attendance are as morally bankrupt as the Once-ler?